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Rediscovering Intimacy: A Doctor’s Guide to Lubricants, Menopause, and Rekindling Desire


 

Dr. Lisa Thomas-Emrus, is an award-winning GP, Lifestyle Medicine Physician, and Certified Clinical Sexologist. She offers essential advice for women navigating menopause. Focusing on the importance of high-quality lubricants and maintaining desire during this transition - Dr. Lisa provides practical, compassionate guidance for enhancing well-being and intimacy. 

What are the best doctor-recommended lubricants for safe, everyday use to prevent discomfort?

Lubricant use is always recommended by doctors, particularly when there has been any sexual discomfort. The most important factor is to find one that suits the individual and to check the ingredients. Some lubricants, particularly ones widely available on the high street can be real irritants to the vulva, vagina and vaginal microbiome, so do check the ingredients and do a small patch test first. 

The most important thing is to see your GP and be examined if you have any vulval or vaginal problems as you may need more than just a lubricant, such as oestrogen therapy or further investigation in to the cause.

What are the top benefits of using LUVISS lubricant for sensitive skin and preventing allergic reactions or irritation?

LUVISS lubricant is an excellent choice for individuals with sensitive skin or those prone to allergic reactions and irritation. As a GP and clinical sexologist, I appreciate that it is formulated with natural, body-safe ingredients, including aloe vera and chamomile, which are known for their soothing and anti-inflammatory properties. This makes it gentle on delicate skin while providing effective hydration. It’s free from common irritants like artificial fragrances, colours, and harmful chemicals, minimising the risk of allergic reactions or irritation.

For those prone to imbalances or sensitivities, the lubricant’s pH-balanced, water-based formula is ideal. It doesn’t disrupt the body's natural environment and is suitable for use with latex condoms and silicone toys, adding versatility and safety to intimate moments. Plus, it's vegan and cruelty-free, which can be an important consideration for many individuals looking for ethical products.

Overall, LUVISS strikes a balance between comfort and safety, making it a great option for sensitive skin while enhancing intimacy naturally.

Why is LUVISS the top doctor-recommended lubricant for comfort and intimacy compared to other brands?

I personally recommend LUVISS to my patients because it checks all the boxes for comfort, safety, and quality. It’s designed with sensitive skin in mind, which is especially important for women going through menopause or experiencing vaginal dryness. What really sets LUVISS apart from other lubricants is its pH-balanced formula and the fact that it’s free from any harsh chemicals or fragrances that can cause irritation. It’s water-based, so it works well with condoms and sex toys, and it leaves no sticky residue—just a smooth, natural feel. It’s so easy and clean to use.

On top of that, I have to say I really like the way the bottle looks! It has a sleek, luxurious design, so it feels like you’re treating yourself to something special, not just grabbing a basic product. It’s those little details that make it stand out for me, both as a doctor and someone who values quality in personal care. LUVISS is definitely a great choice for maintaining comfort and intimacy, especially when you want something that feels good in every way.

 

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What are the best and worst lubricant ingredients to look for during menopause to maintain comfort?

Menopause causes vaginal dryness because the body produces less oestrogen, a hormone that helps keep the vaginal tissue healthy and lubricated. With lower oestrogen levels, the vaginal walls become thinner, drier, and less elastic. This also reduces natural lubrication, making the area feel uncomfortable or irritated, especially during sex. However, this shouldn’t be the end of your sex life. In fact by being proactive and taking a new approach to intimacy you should be able to have the best sex of your life. Certainly do not accept uncomfortable sex, choose a great lubricant as a necessity in your intimacy kit. However, do check the ingredients for the following that need to be avoided; parabens, glycerin, petroleum, fragrance and anything that tingles, heats or glitters!

How do water-based lubricants like LUVISS help relieve vaginal dryness and discomfort during menopause?

A water-based lubricant like LUVISS can make a big difference for women experiencing vaginal dryness during menopause, helping them enjoy a more comfortable and satisfying sex life. Menopause causes a drop in oestrogen, leading to less natural lubrication, which can make sex feel uncomfortable or even painful. A water-based lubricant adds moisture, reduces friction, and allows for smoother, more pleasurable intimacy. I recommend applying generously (it’s better to have more than too little to prevent discomfort) and reapplying as needed given water-based lubricants can absorb into the skin (which also means it’s not messy to manage). Apply as part of foreplay to ensure you’re fully comfortable before penetration as this can help you relax and enjoy the moment more. LUVISS is safe with condoms and sexual pleasure products making it a staple part of your intimacy tool box! Using it can help restore comfort and intimacy, letting you focus on enjoying your sexual experiences without the worries that menopause-related dryness can bring.

How does menopause affect sex drive, and what are the best ways to overcome a loss of libido?

Menopause can have a significant impact on an individual's sex drive, mainly due to the hormonal changes that occur. As oestrogen and testosterone levels drop, many women notice a decrease in their libido, which can be frustrating. Additionally, symptoms like vaginal dryness, hot flushes, anxiety, brain fog, aches and pains, and mood swings can make sexual activity less appealing.

To help with a loss of libido during menopause, I recommend a few key approaches:

Stay Communicative: Open, honest conversations with your partner about how you're feeling can reduce pressure and create a more supportive and relaxed environment for intimacy.

Consider Hormone Therapy: For some women, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can be helpful in balancing hormones, which may improve libido. It's important to discuss this option with a doctor to weigh the benefits and risks.

Try Lubricants and Moisturisers: Vaginal dryness can make sex uncomfortable, so using a good quality lubricant and vaginal moisturiser can make intimacy more pleasurable and reduce discomfort.

Focus on Overall Health and Well-being: Physical exercise, eating well, improving sleep quality and managing stress are key factors that can boost energy levels and help improve libido. Exercise, especially, can boost endorphins and improve body confidence, which can positively impact your sex drive.

Explore New Ways of Intimacy: Sometimes, focusing on non-sexual intimacy—like cuddling, massage, or other forms of closeness—can help rebuild a connection, which may naturally lead to an increase in sexual desire over time. Also remember that sex isn’t all about penetration. Enjoy more vulval and clitoral stimulation during intimacy.

Remember, every woman’s experience is unique, and there’s no "one-size-fits-all" solution, but these steps can help make the menopause transition easier and more enjoyable for your sex life.

What do doctors recommend for couples choosing between water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based lubricants to enhance intimacy?

Water-based Lubricants: These are the most versatile and most commonly recommended by doctors because they’re safe to use with condoms and sex toys, and they’re easy to clean up. They’re great for everyday intimacy.

Silicone-based Lubricants: These last longer and don’t dry out as quickly as water-based ones, making them perfect for longer sessions or activities like shower sex since they’re water-resistant. They’re also super smooth, but just be cautious using them with silicone toys, as they can break down the material.

Oil-based Lubricants: These are rich and long-lasting, but they come with some downsides—especially for vaginal sex. Oil-based lubes aren’t compatible with latex condoms, as they can cause them to break, and they can also increase the risk of infection if used internally. However, they can be great for external massage or other non-vaginal activities.

As a minimum have a beautiful looking water-based lubricant bottle like LUVISS near your bed for an easy to reach for option. Then, I recommend experimenting with different types of lubricants to see what suits all your needs and comfort. Just remember to always check for any allergies or sensitivities, and if you're using condoms or toys, water or silicone-based options are usually your best bet!

 What are your top 3 tips to help rekindle desire?

As a clinical sexologist and GP, I often work with women looking to rekindle desire, especially during transitional periods like menopause or stressful life stages. Here are my top three tips to help reignite that spark:

1. Prioritise Emotional Connection: Desire is often rooted in emotional intimacy. Take time to reconnect with your partner outside of the bedroom—whether it’s through meaningful conversations, shared experiences, or simply spending more quality time together. Emotional closeness can naturally reignite physical attraction and desire.

2. Explore New Forms of Intimacy: Routines can sometimes dampen desire. Sexual boredom is unlikely to ignite the spark! I suggest exploring new ways to be intimate, whether it’s through trying new things in bed or enjoying non-sexual forms of touch like massages, cuddling, or even date nights that create anticipation. Keeping things fresh can help revive excitement.

3. Take Care of Your Body and Mind: Physical health directly impacts sexual desire. Regular exercise, stress management, and addressing any hormonal imbalances (through hormone therapy or other treatments) can boost your libido. Don't underestimate the power of feeling good in your body to enhance sexual confidence and desire.

By focusing on emotional intimacy, breaking out of routines, and maintaining physical well-being, you can create the right conditions for desire to return naturally and fully.

    

For personalised support, Dr. Lisa offers private GP services and women’s health coaching through Vale Wellness

You can also explore her wellness insights on her website Revive Prescribed and follow her on Instagram at @pressingdesires for more tips on sexual wellness.